Okay?

Here I go again.. Writing the words thats in my head.. Writing nonsense with this pen. I can go on and on about how life never ends, the drama, the fake people, you know the normal trend.. But I think imma change it up a bit today and heres what I have to say.. My life is far from perfect, I have unpleasant names and hell I've earned them. I'm not this depressed out of control, mouthy, suicidal teen everyone sees.. I have thoughts, feelings and opinions, and I'm not who everyone wants me to be. Sometimes I wake up and wish I could stop breathing. Nobody takes the time to think about how I'm feeling. But why would they? To other people I'm heartless and cold. But the silent story in my head is forever untold. This often sets me back and I know later in life ill have to pick up my slack. I'm tryna walk through this life and be good.. Just gonna sit here and think, lite up my kush. I go through this violent life with a plan.. Like the little engine that could, I think I can I think I can, while I'm silently in the background not giving a damn. Its a constant battle with my mentel illness. How can you love someone like this?  I can't stress enough how unfair this is. Having to put up with all my shit. No matter what you're not ashamed of me. When I'm around you I can finally feel free. I can smile and laugh and not feel like a freak. Everything in my life doesn't make sense, but when our eyes lock we just click. And no matter what this is it. Us against the world through hell and back, without you my heart would not exist. You give me the strength and hope that I can do this.. Without you my life would be complete shit. Thank you for the spark when we kiss.. Thank you for the love that you give.. The hugs that make me feel like I'm on cloud 9, the goofy times that make me smile when I'm about to cry,  the fights that only make us stronger. The laughter that grows harder and harder. The feelings of want and desire. The touch that ignites everything in me like a lighter. You're just perfect and nothing you do or say can change this. And no matter what imma keep my promise, when I say I'm here to stay.