Why

the moment i laid eyes on you i knew my heart had been breached
i tried to get that love from you but i never quite reached
The pain of the past follows me and lingers without end
why cant the damage caused by others ever mend
a single tear rolls down my cheek as i realise they didn't care
they did these things to me and left me in an uncontrollable nightmare
one day maybe i will open my eyes to someone that loves me for who i am and not just what i can give
but for now i am stuck in my own depression not knowing if i want to live
you were supposed to be there for me as i was there for you
instead you ripped apart my heart and i am out of glue
it has been torn apart too many times to be mended
a pile of hurt and misery is all it has been rendered
maybe one day i can be treated the way i did unto you
it's just not fair for me to be hurt like that, feeling like i am ripped in two
i put on these fake smiles and try to make people laugh and feel joy
to cover up that i haven't been at peace since i was a young boy
you were supposed to care about me and not dig the knife in deeper and deeper
maybe one of these days i may end everything and become a permanent sleeper
if this ever happens i am sorry for not being what you wanted me to be
i am sorry that you couldn't love me for just being me