I'm sorry it's hard to understand me

When your mind tells you to just 'let it go' stop for a second and say no.
How can you ever know what is wrong or what is right,until you make a mistake and do something that's not worth a sight.
You look into the deeper picture and think about where's the light. When you realise it's empty,you can't stop but fight.
Growing up was a goal to me when I was young but now that its in the process of happening and only just the beginning my heart has sunk.
No more playing around,it's all about protecting your modesty and controlling your overflowing emotions.
The new me has become a caution.
It's not that I'm mean or nasty,I have kind emotions,my heart has love.its hard for people to understand me because one of my strongest emotions is anger. When anger strikes my appearance becomes displeasing,the body of my actions becomes animalistic,the tone of my voice changes into husky notes and all of a sudden the words blabber as fire blood and anguish because the words hurt and cut deep.
I forget the power of the status someone has in front of me,I forget who they are and what they did for me,I'm normal but it's just hard to understand me.
I run out because I'm scared,I have fear of making people coming against me,but it happens and happens all the time because it's hard to understand me.
I cry. It makes you think it's for attention but the truth is I feel bad for what my instincts did.
I shout through frustration and only then I make things worse and it hurts me because you people think I'm just mental and crazy.
I'm sorry,it's difficult to understand me.