How can I be [so] selfish?

parisinwonderland7

It hurts seeing the pain in your eyes.

It hurts because I've looked out of windows like yours.

You saved me from a place I thought I'd never escape.

I want to do the same for you.

But my rope isn't long enough.

It's dangling above your head but you won't look up.

I'm screaming your name but your hearing is blocked!

Blocked.

By your dignity and this wall you've put between us. 

 

You say you love me.

But maybe our views on love are a little different.

Last night you held me and told me that I'm not something you need but something you want.

In my perspective of love, you are something I both need and want.

But here I am, being selfish, I want you to be happy.

I want to be able to fix you like you fixed me.

But I can't and that makes me feel useless, my love. 

  • Author: parisinwonderland7 (Offline Offline)
  • Published: September 12th, 2017 01:50
  • Comment from author about the poem: -TRIGGER WARNING- My boyfriend has struggled with depression most of his life. And recent turn of events have triggered his feelings even more. But when he feels doen he shuts down. He doesnt let anyone in. He has had a past with trying to commit suicide and last night he told me he didnt want to be here anymore. And that scares me. I cant afford to lose him but when i say things like that it makes me feel selfish.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 25
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Comments1

  • orchidee

    A good write P. it may seem controversial saying this, but there is a part where the person needs to 'pull themselves together', even if depressed. I don't mean in a 'soldier on' type of way.
    You are not responsible for other people's choices, though you want to help of course.



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