tanvir H

we have one soul

 

When you breathe I live

        When you cry I die

Cuz we both have one soul

But two different bodies.

 

- tanvir

 

 

 

Comments5

  • LAWLESS

    Very well delivered! One change that I would make, is to change the word "breath" to breathe. They are pronounced differently with different meanings. Body or bodies? Just trying to help. Cuz is cool though!

    Lawless

    • tanvir H

      thank you sir

    • FredPeyer

      Rancor, agree with James, otherwise a great poem!

      • tanvir H

        thank you sir

        • FredPeyer

          Sorry about that 'rancor'. Spell check changed it from tanvir and I did not see it.

        • 1 more comment

        • malubotelho

          Nice writing Tanvir. A cute short one.

          • tanvir H

            thank you ma'am

          • rrodriguez

            Nicely done!

            • tanvir H

              thank you sir

            • ron parrish aka wordman

              i really liked this message,two bodies,one soul

              • tanvir H

                thank you sir



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