I feel alone and so scared,
Feeling like no-one has any time to spare.
Forever been told "you shouldn't feel this way",
But only if you knew I feel like this everyday.
I know you're thinking "you're always so happy",
But have you ever noticed that I get so snappy?
I'm tough and strong - so you all think,
Have you gave it a thought that's why I binge drink.
To have that escape just for a night,
To get through my minds own fight.
I'm my own worst enemy you see,
And the bully victim is me.
Taunting myself until I feel unworthy,
I plead with myself for mercy.
Thoughts of suicide make me so afraid,
Ways I could go keep on replayed.
I cry alone so no one can hear,
My heartbreaking tears over all my fears.
My heart is so heavy and frantically beating,
Still keeping me alive with my weeping.
These demons live inside my head,
Naming all the reasons I deserve to be dead.
So when I'm having a bad day,
Be careful of all the things you might say.
So how would you feel if I was dead and gone,
Because I know what ever you say is a con.
-
Author:
Chloe Rachel (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: September 14th, 2017 18:21
- Comment from author about the poem: This is something very close to my heart, I was so scared to share it with anyone as it is so personal. Please, share your thoughts.
- Category: Short story
- Views: 40
- Users favorite of this poem: Tris Eaton
Offline)
Comments7
This was beautiful, in the truest way possible. Having PTSD and depression, I can absolutely relate. Great Job.
Thank you ever so much! That means a lot, I am glad you can relate!
CR x
On more than one thing. I was in England when I was teen. My family is from there.
I am glad that I am bring awareness to deep and meaningful subjects. Mental health as a whole is a very taboo subject, some people still live in the 70s.
Oh really? I am from the North East of England, where in England did you visit?
CR x
All over. Father and his side are from Isle of Wight and His mum and family are from New Forest.
Oh South of England. Very nice, it is a lot cooler up here than down there! But still very beautiful.
Ya it is. It's really humid...
We just get a lot of rain unfortunately and at the moment, it is very very cold! 🙁
I know your feeling well. People who have never experience this won't understand the horrible feelings, the struggle, the helplessness, the hopelessness that hunt you from moment to moment. It is such a torment, like live in hell.
It is OK to cry, cry loud. It is fine to feel angry, but do not give up. Keep fighting even though it is hard.
I can understand you need the drink to get that relief, but be careful with it, it do no good but make things worse.
Writing is a good way to release the pain. You are so brave and thank you for sharing your hard feeling here. Welcome to this site.
Thank you so much for your kind words and words of wisdom. I really appreciate it.
It is sometimes, a living nightmare. I want people to understand what others go through so we can talk about it as a group. You're very right, it is okay not to be okay, crying isn't a weakness, it is a reminder that you have been strong for so long.
I am glad you liked my poem and thank you for the warm greetings!
CR x
Sadly, I can empathize with you and I agree, it sucks a lot. This is a very good poem though
Thank you very much Tris, it is a crying shame that we go through these tough times. But in all honesty, it makes us all the strong soldiers we become.
CR x
Keep writing Chloe and the demons will be exorcised, one by one. No one possessed can rhyme as well as in your poem.
Thank you very much for your kind words. I have found it a great way of expressing myself.
CR x
Good words, flows well and rhymes with a steady rythym, I also started poetry as a way of escape and expressing some feelings of darker times, and to be honest it played a big part in fixing those issues too!
Keep writing you know what your doing and your words hold power 😊👌🏻
Wow! Thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback!
CR x
Pure passion and soul with every word I read.
These thoughts you have are more than close to my heart, as I could of written them my self.
Thank you sharing and inspiring us to go on, i could point to so any of my writings that I've done to help me but I'll just name two "Dan gets it" and tea with my head demon" if you have the time.
If not don't worry, I'll write your own in time.
Be strong, be brave
For it is all but A stage
Keep being you
All the way
Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it! I will most definitely read your stuff, I did read one and it was ever so powerful!
CR x
Touching the truth is like an open wound sometimes, keep your head up, life is a gift, great write
Thank you! Your feedback is truly appreciated! X
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