Faithlovekitty101

Dad

You’re supposed to be my dad, not a bully. I know that you must enforce the rules but the way you do it hurts me deeply. You spit in my face as you yell, that’s how close you get. I know mom made you, but it doesn’t change my heart breaking every time. My head starts to hurt from crying so much. My body aching all over, crying out for help for someone to make you understand how I feel. This.all over a stupid argument. That ends in pain. When will I stop feeling like this. Isn’t how I feel and think enough to change your ways? Or even make you listen? I try my best to put on a smile at school, so much that I should have an award for acting, acting like I care about the work, acting like I am having fun when I am really depressed, acting like pain from bullies doesn’t hurt, acting like I feel I belong here, acting like what you say in your apology after the crying matters, when it clearly wasn’t even an apology. Me and you are alike in many ways, I am your daughter after all, through blood. Your dad was hard and yelled at you like you yell at me now. You became the very thing you didn’t want to become, your father. That doesn’t mean you didn’t love him though. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. But, the cycle ends here, I will not become like you, in the ways of anger and aggression. I will control my anger, or at least try. My children won’t have to hide their feelings or feel the way I do now. A small piece of nothing, that has no say in what happens, that cannot think for herself because she is a child, that is found weaker than you, just because I’m not fully grown. One day I will explain to you what I feel like, whether or not you will understand or even listen is up to you.

Comments4

  • OUTBACK

    BOTH MY PARENTS* SEEMED - ONCE UPON A TIME* TO HAVE THE BEST OF INTENTIONS* WITH THEIR ONLY CHILD* ( ME )* YET * IT DID NOT PREVENT THEM FROM ALLOWING THEIR [ DARKER NATURE ]* OF (POWER )* - TO GET THE BEST OF THEM* ! ANGER* - FRUSTRATION* - VIOLENCE* & THE RULES* of (AUTHORITY)* - THEIR OWN* - OVER ME* - AS WELL AS THOSE* - BELIEVED* IN & TRUSTED* - ( AUTHORITIES )* - OVER THEM* !

  • OUTBACK

    I KNOW* - THE DEAL !

  • lost-but-not-broken17

    I'm going through a similar situation with my father. And shit stings.. you go from being daddy's little girl to nothing once you start to grow up. All because of how he was raised. I stopped talking to my dad once I turned 18 which was about a couple weeks ago. And he acts like he doesn't care. It's parents that can hurt in the worst ways but you're strong enough that you can over come the hurt. I can tell through your writing. If you wanna i have a poem on my profile called dad. It explains a lot. If you ever need someone to talk to shoot me a message. I'm here(:

  • FredPeyer

    Well written, from the heart. I can only agree with lost-but-not-broken. I am a father and now grand-father, and while I did yell at my kids once in a while, it is all good. They actually told me as adults, that they sometimes wanted to see how long it would take me to lose my cool! :-)
    Verbal abuse is as bad or even worse than physical abuse, since there are no outward signs. I don't know if it would do any good to sit down with your dad (and mom maybe) during a time of calm to tell him how you feel and how much he is hurting you.
    Maybe the writing will help, it seems to do that for many people. Stay strong and look forward to a better future!



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