This is why

A long time ago
back in 2005
Lives a version of me
who loves to be alive
Failing to realize
his life fading to black
When he sharpens his blade
and stabs himself in the back.
Losing his trust
from himself and others.
His Mom, His Dad,
His half Brother.
What would he do
to make this right to him?
Make up a story
Tell it to them.

To no avail...

'Cus the pain only increased
with every broken heartbeat.
God forgives me
But can I forgive myself?
I've done a loved one wrong
They'll remember it for so long
This is why I beat up myself.

He made up a story
to tell all of his friends
'cus he didn't have the courage
to tell the truth to them.
All the while, in his mind,
the memory repeats.
Every time it replays
it's a broken heartbeat.

His lies left a trail!

'Cus the pain only increased
from every broken heartbeat.
God forgives me
but can I forgive myself?
I've done a loved one wrong.
They'll remember it for so long.
This is why I beat up myself...

Why won't this memory
just die away?!
I forget so much
but never that day!
Teach me how to
forgive myself!!

'Cus the pain only increased
from every broken heartbeat.
God forgives me
but can I forgive myself?
I've done a loved one wrong.
They'll remember it for so long.
This is why I beat up myself...
This is why,
This is why.
This is why I beat up myself.