What choice do I have?

The world is full of many wonders,

So much joy and hate, 

If there's just one thing that I have learnt,

It's that you can't rely on fate. 

But if that's the case,

It's all in our control,

We can choose to stand or fall. 

Friends, foe, lovers, life,

So many choices that cause us strife.

Everyday I must choose,

To be happy, or win, or to lose.

But it's not that simple when you're trapped in a mind, 

That hates itself and can't unwind.

Every problem like a mountain to climb,

And everyday there's just not enough time.

I question and cry, why each day do I wake?

But I struggle on for everyone's sake.

I cannot show it, I must be brave,

And suffer in silence for another day. 

So I barely function, I wear a mask,

Just to handle the smallest tasks. 

But the burden is becoming too much to bare, 

I don't feel like there's a place for me anywhere.

In my loneliness I choose to hide, 

Until I head that same suicide,

Consuming every thought,

My body, my soul,

I am distraught. 

I ache and I feel nothing at all, 

I am sick, I am selfish,

A useless fool. 

So back I crawl into my bed,

To dream again of being dead.