No. 1

undecidedpoet

 

You told me not to like myself
That there were parts of me you didn’t like
I was weird, unnatural, unproportionate
If I did like myself, it made me selfish
It made me conceded


Soon I did not love myself
I listened to your words closely
Staring in the mirror, I would pick myself apart
Degrading myself became humorous to you
I learned to put myself down before you could


You told me I had “low self-esteem”
I was pitied for hating myself
You began telling me what to wear;
How to make my hair prettier
If I just looked a bit different, I would be enough
“Look good, feel good”, right?


I was never just right
Whether it was appearance or attitude,
Overall I didn’t matter
I tortured myself for years
As a result my body began suffering
Physical pain outweighed the emotional torment
“Maybe if I hurt myself you wouldn’t be able to”


I’ll never know how long it will take to rebuild myself
I don't know how I could
However, I do know that you destroyed me;
Destroyed any hope of me loving myself
But it didn’t matter to you
You didn’t have a second thought about me                       To you I was just ugly

  • Author: undecidedpoet (Offline Offline)
  • Published: September 25th, 2017 17:55
  • Comment from author about the poem: This poem is my first. It is very near and dear to my heart and depicts events that I have experienced first hand.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 19
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Comments +

Comments1

  • Christina8

    First of all, welcome to MPS. A very good but such a sad write! Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I hope you found writing cathartic. MPS is a very supportive community and I hope you continue to write more poems so we can give you feedback. I hope the best for you!



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