No. 1

You told me not to like myself
That there were parts of me you didn’t like
I was weird, unnatural, unproportionate
If I did like myself, it made me selfish
It made me conceded

Soon I did not love myself
I listened to your words closely
Staring in the mirror, I would pick myself apart
Degrading myself became humorous to you
I learned to put myself down before you could

You told me I had “low self-esteem”
I was pitied for hating myself
You began telling me what to wear;
How to make my hair prettier
If I just looked a bit different, I would be enough
“Look good, feel good”, right?

I was never just right
Whether it was appearance or attitude,
Overall I didn’t matter
I tortured myself for years
As a result my body began suffering
Physical pain outweighed the emotional torment
“Maybe if I hurt myself you wouldn’t be able to”

I’ll never know how long it will take to rebuild myself
I don't know how I could
However, I do know that you destroyed me;
Destroyed any hope of me loving myself
But it didn’t matter to you
You didn’t have a second thought about me                       To you I was just ugly