Mother

I was only seven years old

When I asked you to leave 

The decision was bold

At times, hard to believe,

Maybe even a bit naive.

 

Relieved is what I wanted to feel

Steel is what I wanted my heart to be

But after, all I could do is kneel

Feeling the heart fracture within me,

The outcome, I was unable to foresee.

 

Beastly was my image for a while

Her needles a better son than I 

Familial separation was our style

We both ended the days with a cry,

Watching the calendar pages flip by.

 

Sigh always followed the mention of her name

Always having hope I'd see her again

Pride is what kept me in this game

Thirteen long years it had been,

Before I picked up the phone and forgave her sin.

 

She passed away not long after

A feeling I prepared myself to handle

Never had we, nor ever will we share in the laughter

Thanks to the poisonous wick in her candle,

Bearing the regrets of being an emotional vandal.

 

I still think of her

Especially on days like today

You're not here like I wish you were

To see your Grand-babies play, 

"She wishes she could be here, she tried her best." Is what I'll say.