and still, i wait

And still
I wait

I wait for the sky to cave inwards
I wait for the clouds to collapse on top of themselves
I wait for the sidewalk to crack in the places I step
I wait for the tides to rise
And the moon to turn away
The sun to refuse a new day

I wait for that moment
When you can tell the world will move
Even if it will crush everything inside

In the moment of panic and terror
Everything falls

It all hits the ground in a shaking spiral
I am underneath
I lay there broken and hopeless

Eventually I find my way to the surface
And I realize
When the dust clears
I can see so much more

I see my future
I see the galaxy resting just below it
Like it's mine

I see the world spin
Slow and steady
Almost like nothing’s changed

I see the stars
Brighter than they've ever been

I hear oceans waving to the new sky above it

Colors as vibrant as ever

I see that there are good things about the world I knew falling apart
Without this wreckage I would've never seen the beauty underneath it
That perfect eclipse of hatred and change
Creating the perfect mixture of wanting to let it all go

The feeling of giving up is vivid
But I wouldn't want to miss this

I want to be alive enough to see what's waiting for me
I want to be alive enough to see the world
I have a future
And in it, I'm alive.

And still

I wait.