ShaneMcFadden

Brown Eyes



I had never thought that brown eyes could be so beautiful, until I fell in love with her and I fell in pitiful. Your brown eyes disguise, they are this guy's. So proud, so aloud, allow me to love you like I love me. Like you, like me, I like you unlike me. Unlikely, do I like me? Surely, I to be free. You to my eye, are as pretty as can be. So many common interests of the same, of one’s own to remember their name. I remember yours, as I can't forget it. Rings out in my mind, and I never regret it. Second guess it, I would never rest it. Never would I think any less of it, or you. Your eyes. Though dark and shady, lit a spark and call me Shaney. I have fallen in love and I'm all in above, I fell in love with you and your brown eyes. I fell in love staring through your disguise; I despise what I revise, I remise my own eyes. Anxiety, I follow insecurity as you leave me on seen I think to lean, ignore me for I be deaned. Demean the intentions, never in sections, incisions made but never decisions made. Could I never follow what I have made hollow? Could I never see, for what is a deathly hallow? Emotional, demotional, demote my emotes and remote back to control. Your brown eyes have stared into I, my eye. I fell ever so more in love staring into your eyes. I looked at you, while Spiderman Homecoming played on the big screen. It was then, that I had decided my love for you would be queen and king. Never keen. Love me, oh please, love me. Shove me to the side and I perhaps will come crawling back to call you mine. Your brown eyes try to see into mine, my blue skies. You try to annoy but never could you avoid. A high tolerance I have for those I care for so, and I care about you and your beautiful brown eyes, so. Iso, isolate my soul. Isolate my veins and ice them so. Stitch the wounds as if you were to sew through each and every scar. Your brown eyes, they see from afar. Your brown eyes, they remise in my mind. They are not so terribly kind, not anymore. Now, I'm crying on the floor. Now, my family is kicking down the door. I ignore what I abhor for a chance to be less sore, for a chance for more. I swore my love would pour, and so it did. What I kept in store, we fought our war, and now it seems to be a bore for a chore. However so could it come to this? How never so would it become bliss? Seriously though, how could it come to this? How would it come to this? Everything was going just fine, even though I was crying. This was mine, I had it in my grasp, I had you, you were supposed to last! And Now, you're gone, and you're all in the past. My past, for what so may pass by. You make me tear by tear every night cry. I can't seem to forget you. I can't seem to regret you; nor do I want to. Nor should I want to. No reason to be sorry but I'm still sorry, I feel as if a starry late night fight was too light. You were my light in the night, you were my fright in my fight. Really, I honestly wanted you to stay. I honestly wanted you to say, "It's okay. I love you too. Never will I ever leave you." Never will I ever is the story of my life, ever will I never is the story of my knife. Keep it ridden and hidden inside, keep it sitting and sipping on a drink love true. A drink love new, for me and you. Now, you're gone. You're no longer mine. Although, you're always on my mind. You're always on my kind of level, in my heart my kind of devil. You are not my love, so you took my above, you took my shove and you shoved me to the side. You are no longer mine. Now my heart beats at a hundred miles per hour, every single hour, this was ours to feel. But now I'm left crying in the showers of the rain, left to heal all by myself. This is my reality, I speak the truth, that is my legality. Now I can't even watch my favorite TV shows because what it shows is everything about you I ever know. The blood flows and because of you and your brown eyes, it's something you'll never know. Perhaps, that is something that you want. Perhaps, something you taunt. But in the back of my mind will it only ever haunt. I fall asleep and I think of you, I fall in dreams and I think true. You are what turns my veins red from blue. You see, I fell in love with you. And now I fell in love with truth; you're not what you said you were. Oh god, I fell in love with her, and all it ever did was hurt. No one should ever have that much anxiety in a relationship, but maybe it was just me, shit. He asked, and she said, but hesitated. I never waited to say it, she was mine. Was mine. But she hesitated to tell him in that one moment that she was my woman. Not this, but a bad relationship choice; I said that's okay darling, listen to my voice. Oh did she so.. I said what I was saying, I know. And I did. Should have I said so? Overflow, no brains glow when the veins flow. Oh, no, please, don't go. You were the first to say I love you, you were the first to say it was true. You were the first to say this wasn't working for you, and you were the first to leave and tell the truth. This wasn't working out, then we tried again, we tried to bend, we tried til the end. You left twice, came back the first time, you left twice and over my wrist it was slice, slice, slice. Please, I'm begging you just get out of my head. You're making me wish that I was already dead. Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's not pretend I don't scream when I wake in bed, ahead of ourselves.  Ahead, on our shelves we had held the world in the card we dealt. We held onto the world of what we held unto the world and under the world for I fell under the world, I’m in Hell. I can’t take much more of this, but I guess ignorance is bliss. I’m crying, I’m trying, I promise I’m flying above to the skies when you look into my eyes they cry. Tears tear down my cheek every single week. Week after week, I fall and I feel so weak. This is cheap, not cheek. Cheap, for so grim he reaps. I sleep, and in the night I scream and I keep your name in my mouth; because it tastes so bitter but so good. It hurts like razor teeth, I teethe. I see blood as I seethe. Saying your name hurts all the same, but it remembers my gain and it feels a game. Ten points, twenty points, thirty points if you can survive this long. Fifty points if you prove to be strong. 100 points if you prove that everyone else was wrong. They have to be wrong. Why else would we still be here? Why else would you cry ever single tear? Why would it tear through the heart just to fall apart and fall in start just to see the finish line? And I cry, as I write. I cry as you are right. Your brown eyes, I can’t see through the skies. I can’t see through your disguise because you were my demise. I revise how I see guys, because you couldn’t be nice. Now I’m left, because you left, never right, never theft in the night. Never fight, never fright never scare me off to the side. Never ever decide, this was not mine. Homicide, suicide, genocide, help me for I can’t fight by my own side. Inside or outside, I can’t reside in what I decide, I decide to end my life. No wait, I don’t. I won’t. I can’t. Why would I do that? Because you left my back? No, I can’t do that. But you and your brown eyes, look inside and see a soul dies. Wither away and cries. The same rhymes, over and over again, despise. Now I have scars imprinted onto my arms because of you, no, because of me; because of you. You didn’t make me, but you made feel. And oh god, do I hate being able to feel. So now? For making it real, for making it seal shut and sew open; you made me feel. So I hate you and your brown eyes for making my heart reel back and into the open. You left me vulnerable, and that’s honorable but not on or able to see. Not on or able to be free. I fell in love with you and your brown eyes. They were this guy’s. They were disguised. I looked into your eyes and I fell again. I felt again. I felt too kind, I looked away from your eyes and now? They’re the only thing on my mind.

 

10/2/17

Comments1

  • HeartfullyFallen

    Oh, gosh. That was amaizng, how you had the time and energy to write all that I don't know but I'm proud. So very proud you made it through, that you wrote that. Just... I'm amazed



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