I just don't know

I'm not depressed I'm not sad I'm not lonely but sometimes it feels like there no one you can talk to. No one is there to listen or to actually care or give you advice. People say your parare always there for you but are they really? I don't want my mom to feel bad or for her to see what a failure her daughter actually is all the hopes and dreams her daughter had are just slowly fading away. Everything she had to go threw just to make me happy and now look at me I don't even try anymore I try to care but deep inside I just want to quite I want someone to talk to. Yes I have friends or should I say a friend but sometimes it's just not enough I don't think she would actually care all she cares about looks, and money and going places and to act like everything is fine. I know everything is not fine but who can I tell? Who can I open up to without them judging me or looking at me with sad eyes because that's the last thing I want for someone to feel sorry for me because I feel like the outside of me is saying " I'm happy I'm a happy person " but deep deep inside I want to scream and shout and just let it all out. But I can't...

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