Angustia

Everyone glorifies the idea

of having a best friend as husband.

But no one talks about

how much it destroys you

when you loose two people in one. 

Everyone wants to talk about recovery,

but not the steps that someone takes

to get there.

Everyone romanticizes heartbreak.

But it isn’t poetry.

Or staying up until 4 am

listening to sad songs.

It’s breaking down,

in the middle of a busy street.

It’s seeing their face,

in every person who passes by.

It’s feeling alright for a few weeks. 

And then all of a sudden

you feel the ghost of their lips

on your neck.

And their nails,

on your back.

And then you’re choking

on the memories of their presence.

It’s waking up from dreams

of them coming back.

And screaming in the middle of the night

because your chest aches,

like a rotting tooth.

Stop idealizing the pain.

Stop treating people like objects.

A heart isn’t a cigarette.

You can’t just light it up,

and then stomp it out

when you’re done.

Stop romanticizing heartbreak.

There is nothing pretty

about bleeding from the inside out.

 You have to pick yourself up

and find the strength to move on.

At the end of the day,

you’re all you’ve got.

And if all you did today

was hold yourself together,

then I am so proud of you.