confidence

I look around and see people who have it

But why not me?

I walk with good posture and a spring in my step but still they see me insecure and inept

Sometimes I catch it and feel happy and free

But I always know when I'm feeling this way

I want to wear loud clothes and bright colours

I want to live against the gradient

I look to others for reassurance

I care what they think

But my sharp tongue fools them 

They seem me as 'quirky' and 'bubbly'

The eyes watch me

I tell myself I don't care just to accept that I do

Life is only suffocating if you let it be

But I think the beauty of it is finding ways to breathe?