So Scared

I've never been so scared,

So unprepared,

All I want is her with me,

All the pain to end,

So off I go, from the boat to the sea,

The thing is I don't even know if she loves me,

She is my home, my comfort, my eternal salvation,

She calms my mind and distracts me,

She is the most perfect, beautiful, and grand mind in all of creation,

She is a goddess to me,

Out again to sea,

Why does she have to leave?

If there is a god he won't do this,

He won't let this happen,

I've loved only once before her and only a fraction as much,

If there is a god I will do anything asked of me to keep us from tearing apart,

I will never forget her eternal touch,

Why does she have to move?

Some say that there are so many decks out there and she's just a card,

No, they're wrong! You've heard of the queen of hearts? Well she is the queen of all parts!

My god, I thought that this time love wouldn't be a broken heart!

She consoles me, says that I still have a while before we have to split,

But now I have to live in the knowledge that it'll end,

Never before have I been so hit,

I thought love was strong enough to survive a bend,

She is a god send!

I love her!

When we part, I'll have to end,

I do not write this poem as a trend,

She is my majesty, my one and only,

Now she goes away,

I rarely cry, but as these raindrops fall on my empty bed,

I want only for her to stay,

But "goodbye" is the only thing to be said,

Would it have ended anyway?

I'm so frightened and petrified!

I do not blame her one bit,

But I think it would  have been better if I died,

Dear god, this is it,

All the time I have left,

I've written of not worrying about the future or what is to come,

But never have I been so lost on what to do when it's done,

My friends yell, "Give me the gun!"

Maybe if I just run,

Maybe if I never stop,

Just run until I drop,

I feel like I'm a poison to the love crop,

I cause it to die every time,

Time,

Oh god, that word again,

I wish that she could just be mine!

I've not done this for almost six months,

But now again I cry,

Harder this time,

If I am a nickel, she is a dime,

Worth twice as much as me,

Her absence is a crime,

Come back, my love,

Sing this song for me one more time,

Please, come back tonight!

If? Where? When? Why? How?

These are the the words speeding through my head,

But please, love me now,

All day without you I just lie in bed,

A storm on my homestead,

Look ahead,

And there it lay,

A future in rubble,

This price is too high to pay,

So the day you leave,

I want you to know,

This was always much more than just a show,

I want you to know,

I want to show,

This love I finally know,

It's you,

Black bird of love, separation is a crow,

But you must leave, so goodbye,

I guess there will be no more hellos,

I’m so sorry,

I love you,

I’ll miss the times you used me as your pillow,