Darkness

They romanticise it.
Depression.
And I would listen,
Like a naive idiot,
I would absorb those
Insensitive lies
And imagine those scenarios.

What if he became
Depressed,
And I was the one to
Save him?
What if he fell in love with me
Because of that?

Now I feel sick
Reminiscing those thoughts.
As he's sat across from me
Curled up,
Shifting positions constantly,
Never becoming comfortable.
His hand clutching his hair
While his head hides
From the rest of us.

Or him burying his face in his phone
But his expression
Blank and bleak.

And I feel sick.

Last night, I asked
Are you alright?
As he stared with empty eyes
At the flickering flames
In front of him.
And the corners of his mouth
Curled upwards,
So I began to
Brush it off.
Then, ever so slightly
He shook his head.

I walked with only my mum today.
He claimed homework was the cause
Of his absence.
But my mum told me
How his dad was worried about him.
He had been feeling
Depressed
Lately. The confession was that he had
No friends
Who would do anything.
No life.

And it tore my heart up to hear that.
Because I'm in love with a boy
Who is so funny,
And kind,
And has eyes that I drown in
Albeit discreetly.
And a smile
A laugh
That is so contagious
I want to fly away.

Because I'm in love with a boy who is probably trudging through
Hell,
And I want
Desperately
To help him.
To whisper that everything
Is going to be alright
And to guide him tenderly
Out of that incomprehensibly evil

Darkness.