Social Media Alchemy (Comedy Bit)

Imagine if you will..in the very distant future, in a new age of humanity a discovery is made..& that discovery is the first discovered human remains of somebody from our time..it could even be somebody in this room. They discover the human remains of a homosapian from the year 2020..the year of the great nuclear Holocaust and buried with it in its hand to ensure a safe connection to the afterlife is a samsung galaxy x5. once the future humans complete research on this fascinating discovery they put it on display at the national history museum stationed in between Tutankhamun and that weird fucking ginger thing that wasn't mummified properly, sits.. Sarah "Yummy Mummy" 34! Further research finds 9 different types of dna inside the stomach of "yummy mummy"..leading the future civilisation to believe she was a shape shifting super human. When we know of course, she was a cum guzlin super slut! However the future humans no longer have the capabilites to think in these terms..it's not there fault..in their world there is no freedom of speech no free thinking they're an indoctrinated species controlled by a tyrannical government under the word of the all powerful all knowing - Prophet Trump..peace be upon him. The theory of "yummy mummys" superhuman power is also fuelled by her documented works in social media alchemy for if there was ever any kind of suffering in the world "Yummy Mummy" would take to the Facebook and send out her own heart! to victims worldwide.. ending all pain and suffering instantly everywhere for everyone.