I tried to write but could not

I tried to write today but I could not something has died inside.
The words that always flow now seem to went and gone and no longer go.
The problems that rise it hurts me so.
It makes me want to just get up and leave and go.
I blame myself, even though I know there’s more to it than what is told, and not even to listen, but to get mad and to stop caring and sharing even worse than sin makes me hurt even more like the words you said had hurt like Galore.
No matter how it always seems to be explained, it’s in vain and the status always seems to be the same but I’m always blamed.
I I sat outside in the rain to hide the pain and wash my Tears that stain my upon my face.
I I sat with my head hung low in disgrace, thinking of what it would take to erase this pain and stain that I have now gained.
A compromise of life or death? which would be best? to kneel and give my life up and remove the stains and pain and just leave the spirit and thoughts of me remain? What’s there to gain?
What do I have to gain If I Stay that's easy, I get to live to fight another day it’s always darkest before the dawn, I will get to jump and say hooray, I’m alive one more day .
I don't care about what anybody thinks,says,or
does because I know the truth is, it's soon be my day to rejoice, to be heard my voice, to feel glad and happy once again even if there is no end, I'll still win the battle even if I have not won the fight in the short.
I am strong, I am a fighter, I will win to see a bright day again and this time there will be no end.
I will get my love, and my wife and no end.