Four A.M Silence

Jordy L G

I have no where to go, alone in the cold.

From my head to my toes, no emotion is shown.

As I lay in my sleeping bag, it’s where I call home.

When asked where I am sleeping, I reply with “at home.”

I am wearing an old Christmas jumper, as I do not own a coat.

I feel as weak as an injured stuntman jumping off of a moving boat.

Floating is no option as my burdens tightly grip my throat.

Although I am certain that I am dreaming, 

My surrounding motions seem to slow.

Tonight the stars are shining, the light I must follow. 

How can I be frightened? This is the road I chose to go.

the trickles of rain drops against my face.

The whistles of the wind begin to pick up pace.

Wildlife around me, hearing branches crunch and break.

If you want something from me, there is nothing left to take.

As I lay, with a tremble and a shake,

I pray I am forgiven for all of my mistakes.

Daily I pay the price for my addiction and my ways,

I hope my demons do not hear me when I say I want away. 

Loneliness is my consequence, my conscious plays this game.

We call it hide and seek and seek I must the hidden man.

A fire burns inside me, to fight I must again.

It’s four a.m and silent, the whispers still remain.

To close my eyes and rest, is my only way of escape. 

 

J.L.Graham

 

  • Author: Jordy L G (Offline Offline)
  • Published: October 26th, 2017 18:25
  • Comment from author about the poem: This poem I have written is based from personal battles with an alcohol addiction, depression and anxiety. At the tender age of 19 I was kicked out of my home and was not in contact with my family, who I adore with every ounce of my heart. The nights sleeping in fields and alleyways have shaped me into a better human being today. I learnt what pain was and the consequences of my own faults. I paid the price and realised what family is all about. But those nights I will never forget. Those nights helped me fight instead of give up.
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 17
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