her.

fuck fuck fuck
one night
one obsessive motherfucker
one relationship
a girl
special
a guy
troubled
finds himself when he loses her
but
second
chances
don’t
exist.
that’s life.
and life is messy.
and if he could prove it
if he could live it over again
maybe
just maybe
it all would’ve worked out
can’t change it
he changed himself
but he can’t change the way she will see him
he will always be
the boy she liked
the boy who cared too much
the boy who got lost
who made her happy
but rushed into things
clung to her like gum to a table.
he knew he’d lose her from the get go
some guys just don’t deserve a girl like her
he’ll move on
but he’s said it before
she’s one of a kind
and with her he dreamed
got lost in his own mind
so lost he couldn’t tell
that she was scared
scared to hurt him
scared of the quick affection
scared of what he called love
the boy went on
he figured out
he liked the girl
he didn’t love her
she was near flawless
but he didn’t love her
it was his way of keeping her attached
but it pushed
pushed her away
pushed away the dream
the dream he was lost in
all the chemistry
built up
just to fall
all the conversations
he sends paragraphs in a mad obsession
she responds
stop
you’re not okay
he couldn’t accept it
they lengthen the distance between eachother
he accepts it
but
it’s too late.
she could call this poem
obsessive
knowing what he knows now
it’s his way of coping
of fixing the mad and crazed side of him
of moving on
cause when a guy like him
loses a girl so special
as fast as they had fallen for one another
he’ll break every negative part of himself down until she sees.
he wants.
to be on good terms
to restart
for her to see
he’s not what she saw
he’s not how he acted
he’s capable
maybe not worthy
she’s worthy
but the connection
they had
instantaneous.
the feelings were there
he was too passionate then
he made up how she felt
she meant it when she said
he’ll never lose her
but then she saw the troubled side of him
he couldn’t believe that she
that she’d break her promise
but now he sees
how justified she was in doing so
“you guys were so good together!” “i love you guys!”
fed his heart
fed his compulsion
he held on to her
held her whenever he could
again.
it scared her
how could anyone
get so attached
so soon
how?
because.
at first glance you can see he thinks with his heart
his heart, so gentle felt the need to treat her like a goddess
to be honest
she was
and she loved being treated that way
loved being special to someone
special to him
he loved being needed
wanted even
and for that he appreciates her
and the memories they shared
within a month
a great month
he liked her
she liked him
his friends told him
it wouldn’t last
he could do better
he said
fuck his friends
she was special
they didn’t last however
and that.
that kills him.
he hopes
she doesn’t hate him
but she easily could
he would’ve assumed
but he knows better than to assume now
that girl.
that girl was extraordinary
that girl was both confident and shy
that girl was beautiful
and he told her that
that boy.
he was sweet
attractive in her eyes
made her smile
oh man that smile.
lit his face up.
it’s too late for that boy to go back to the joy he had
that joy was somewhat false
he forced the love into i love you
he used it as a safety word
definitely not a safety word
but what he would give to be able to talk to that girl again
what he would give to BE with that girl again
what he would give to start over with her.
now that.
that is because she
she.
is one of a kind
and he’d be a fool to let her go after he fixes himself.
if the feelings are still there he’d never know
but if they were he’d never do what he did the first time
he’d be cautious
but that girl deserves the world
not what she has gotten before.
fucked over
and crushed her.
she deserves a boy who treats her like a queen
and if that’s not him then that’s fine
but he hopes she finds him
finds the boy that makes her world
cause she sure as hell
made his.