hot showers

i take hot showers, you know the kind 

the ones that stain your skin red and 

pelt you like tiny lightning bolts 

where the air gets thick and dizzy 

but it makes brushing your teeth

with cold water by the window, that 

little bit more refreshing.

the breeze feels electric. 

warm water can never brush up on my skin like yours

i can scald myself for days and it would hurt me less 

than you did 

not that it matters, because

you always took colder showers

and you used to steal my shampoo all the time

even though it made you smell like a girl 

at least your hair was always shiny 

i bet it’s flat now 

i hope she still smells me in it 

but i still can’t wash you off of me 

no matter how many hot showers i take by the sink 

you stain my skin just like tattoo ink