queer-with-a-pen

The End

She saw this moment as the end

The pills were sticky from sweaty palms,

gripped tight in shaking hands

And the numbers,

the milligrams,

ticked slowly upwards,

clearing 5,000 but staying short of 10,000

 

This was the end,

her end,

orchestrated and carried out alone

This was cold toes curling into ugly carpet that hid years

of shed blood and tears

This was swallowing one last pill and feeling panic bloom

at the realization of the close

 

The heaviness of her body,

eyes unable to stay open,

head spinning down onto the pillow

 

This was the end,

this was her end

A young body pulled into nothingness

A young girl,

long dead,

finally letting go of her corpse

 

She saw this moment as the end

 

And his eyes flew open,

guts roiling and gasping into a state of being

laid dormant

for far too long

Comments5

  • a potato

    AMAZING!

  • kevin browne

    beautifully written. it flowed with poignancy right through til the. certainly touched a place in my heart. great poem.

    • queer-with-a-pen

      Thank you for the kind words. It really means a lot that my poem resonates.

    • LAWLESS

      A letter definitely to be saved. I interpreted your fine piece to be a tale of reincarnation, which I am a firm believer in.

      I enjoy what you write immensely. You seem to write from your heart.

      • queer-with-a-pen

        Thank you for your kind words. When I read this piece in class, my teacher said it was like who I used to be died so I could become who I really am. That’s why it switches to the male perspective at the end. I’ve written a lot of pieces of about coming out as trans, but you’re the first to see it as reincarnation. I like that.

        • LAWLESS

          I've read a lot of your work, and yes, you are reborn. Congrats!

        • FredPeyer

          Very well written, Boaz! Agree with James, it sounds like a story of death and re-incarnation.

          • queer-with-a-pen

            Thank you very much for reading my work and leaving such a nice comment. I had never thought of my coming out as being that of reincarnation. But I guess it could be like that, or like a Phoenix situation where I rose from the ashes of my old self.

          • QuietPoetInTheCorner

            Absolutely brilliant. And such a touching poem. The idea of coming out being like becoming a new person is definitely something i can understand and to see it written up like this is brilliant!



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