Dear best friend

Dear best friend,

Its been about 9 months since you left. Im not going to lie it hasn't been easy. Endless night where i just think to myself what i did wrong, what i could of done differently, but knowing its over. Im not mad, because if i could leave myself i would, im just in a lot of pain. I still think about the countless memories we had, i still imagine a future with you and me having each others back once again. Even though you caused me so much pain, if you ever came back, i would gladly open up my arms, even though i know you have all the control to leave once again. Its hard to trust people, our 10 year friendship ended in a minute so how can i ever believe new friends in my life would stay. Even with all the pain going on in my life, and you telling me you'll always be there to talk to and vent to, you still left, and i don't know how you could ever do that because you know how much i indulge inside my head. I always feel trapped and you always helped me escape, but now its me who you escaped. I just want to say thank you, not for hurting me, but for all the times where we stayed up all night filled with laughter, and all the things we said we would do and the things we accomplished, i just wish who could do them all but that's not possible anymore. I want to thank you for shaping me into who i am today, making me see the harsh truths that life has to offer. I don't hate you, i just wish things could of went differently. Im sorry for who i am, and im sorry for driving you away, to me, you still hold the title of best friend and that will never changed. Take it easy brother.