I will

I heard your words, but I couldn't take them in,
A ripple of tiny goosebumps took over my skin.
Each syllable of your confession bounced around in my head,
I'm trying to look composed, but all I feel is dread.
A slideshow of brutal images are being fired through my brain,
Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is that train.
I'm imagining the phone call, a voice filled with sorrow and grief,
Letters strung together; at least his pain was brief.
I'm trying my hardest to answer, but not a sound can be heard,
A crippled gasp escapes my mouth, but not a single word.
I can feel my body falling, then my knees impact the floor,
The pain is shooting through me, radiating out from my core.
How will I tell my Brother? What will I say to my boys?
I'm trying hard to focus, to drown out all the noise.
The strong girl you have raised is crumbling in fear,
I'm losing all my clarity as my eyes begin to tear.
The sound of your voice, pulls me back to the now,
Loosing you this way, is something I will not allow.
I will be here in your corner, I will fight with every breath,
I will build you back up Dad, because the answer is not death.