If she ever sees me

I know by now that She’ll never ever see me again but I know she secretly wants to.
She’ll try to figure out when I go home maybe only subconsciously . And when she thinks she’s on my route, at the right time, she’ll be so paranoid. She’ll recall to someone that she thought she saw me on the train moving in. But won’t fail to talk about how bad that would have been. How she would have hid behind the map stand, tried to camouflage in the crowd. I see her running away, I see her whispering to her company, rolling her eyes and maybe laughing at the end. All to composite for how vulnerable she’s feeling deep inside. She’ll probably avoid me but sneak some peaks. She probably braces her self for the scenario where I see her before she sees me and has plans for when she sees me first. She probably shakes her head in anticipation. If we were to see each other ever, across a platform, through a tunnel, down a staircase, crossing the street. It’ll actually be like seeing a long lost imaginary friend. Like locking eyes with your monster. i think if she was being her true self she would start crying the silent way she does and I think I would too. Probably because that’ll be the very last time we’ll ever see eachother again.