Ramblings Of A Tortuous Madman

Staring at the blank white canvas on the computer screen, thinking about what to write to only find myself more lost than ever, alone with the pain and the heartache. There’s no forgiveness for a monster like me, no such thing as a welcoming presence except from the ghosts and the shadows that lurk away from the light that surrounds me.

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Getting lost in the white ocean while the pain continues to drill itself into my head deeper while my heart lays dying out of reach. I get to a point in my life sometimes when I don’t know how I am or what I’m feeling, I just feel emotionless, feeling like I’m standing on the coldest piece of land up North and I don’t feel cold nor lost, I'm just one with the white abyss.

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I don’t know what’s this, what I’m writing, read it or don’t read it, it doesn’t matter. My fingers are moving, typing in letters forming into words and I’m just sitting here thinking and watching, watching the fingers, my fingers, typing like a madman. Am I mad? Mad as a hatter I am, though this isn't Wonderland and you're not Alice. But even though with that said, I find myself waking up every day, slowly digging my way deeper into the rabbit hole, curiously following the white rabbit.

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What do I intend to find along the way? A reason to keep going...