Fucked

Believing you’d fall for me was betting on an atheist to fall into the palms of God after reading a single scripture
I prayed and I cried but was left sore
You fucked me up
The palms of my mind were in distress trying to grasp the issue, arthritis seized control
I was with you, under you, over you
But was assured to not smother you
I listened to your breaths slow down as you fell deep into sleep, snuggled up behind me
Felt every inhale rise and fill the small gap between our bodies
Exhales separated us by miles per second
The space between us was still apparent
But eventually that gap was replaced by the asphyxiation of your insecurities
I’m fucked
See now I could barely breathe
For the sake of your comfort, I dealt as much as I could bare, uncomfortably insuring you would sleep worry-free
You were in arms reach but your mind was light years away
So I buckled up and took the chance of running out of fuel
Or a tire bursting
Maybe my ride would overheat and it’d catch fire
Instead, in the core of my heart, a match was inflamed when I consummated the reality
You really fucked me up
I’m falling in love with someone who doesn’t feel me stepping right on their toes
S.O.S in bright red is written across my forehead
But you overlooked me
No peripheral sight, just a one way view
I was on the sideline being your cheerleader
U.G.L.Y your personality is ugly
I still tried to exclude your thoughtless reactions
There’s still no end to this pretty hideous love triangle
As your pride and I are still fighting for your fully undivided attention
It could only span so far
So I’m still fucked up