Poem Goals

Birthday

It's your birthday
And your back home from school
Just about to open that door to your house
Hoping and knowing that people are there
Just waiting to surprise you
You open that door
Nothing happened
Dad sitting on the couch
Mom in bed
Brother playing video games
At that moment you realized
They forgot
They forgot the most
Important day of your life
And nobody even gave the courage
To remember
At that moment
You walk in the way going to the kitchen
wanting to get that knife and camera
You enter threw the door
"SUPRISE"
Everyone is there
Your wiping tears off your face
And all of a sudden
You realize
Your life matters

Comments3

  • Poem Goals

    This probably doesn't relate to it, but I wrote it because of a text called "Birthday Box"

  • deepthoughts

    That's a good poem- some spelling errors- but good.

    • Poem Goals

      Can you tell me the errors for the future?

      • deepthoughts

        Sure. You need a comma at the end of every line, save for the last. The last you need a period on the last line. The first letter of every line needs to be capitalized.
        \"You enter threw the door...\"
        \"Threw\" is actually spelled \'Through.\'
        \"SUPRISE\' is spelled \"Surprise.\"

        That\'s it. Good work!

      • 2 more comments

      • PoemsReverything

        Can totally relate to this poem. Oversee some errors but overall, it's good. Keep up the good work.



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