Ashamed

So many lies I tell myself late at night

So ashamed of my past I cry

The fake smile like a sweet lullaby

Late night thoughts drain every part in the inside

How could I disrespect you in such a manner?

Why did I ever give a kiss to such a stranger?

Didn’t stop to think, that’s what put our love in danger

I know you could never find the answer to the question

Why did I lie just to skip the discussion?

I kissed her, I walked around like I was right

My conscious ate me up, I could never cover up what’s right

Long day thinking, late night dreaming

You’re away at a party, and everyone’s feening

You made a decision, so much trust I put in you

You said “I’d never do anything to hurt you”

The reason you never portrayed me

The reason you stayed so true

In this lifetime I never did anything to deserve you

I made that promise to fulfill your needs

To ashamed to say I never did a good deed

I made a promise and I told you your hearts safe

Why did you believe me?

So disturbed by my ways

But to this day and next to the other

I wish I could’ve loved you

Instead of portrayal for another