I Am Hated

My mind is so twisted, so screwed up,

I have had it all,

I've had her attention, her hand, her love,

I've held the dove,

But here is a new shove,

I am hated, 

I never knew what I did was so cruel,

I never suspected that the debates I made would cause so much pain,

I never thought they would think of me as a fool,

I am too downed to think,

I am too abandoned to drink,

I can't take the drills,

I can't handle the way this thought kills,

I don't deserve the air I breathe,

Nor have I earned this beauty I see,

I know I am worthless,

I know what they say of me,

I know that they lie to me,

I know I'm like an animal they hate to watch at the zoo,

I know she says hurtful things about me too,

I've never really wished to be cool,

But if that would make her like me more,

If that would make me soothed,

Maybe I could show what I can do,

I could show all of my thoughts,

Not just the ones they're used to,

Maybe if I were liked,

Maybe if I was not despised,

Maybe if I held you, 

Maybe then, again, you'd love me too,

Maybe if I kissed you,

Would you kiss me too?