Let me in

The horizon was ablaze with amber light

The sea mist ascended, merging the layers.

It was hard to tell between the two.

Those fateful moments between day and night

He pondered

I wondered

In the twilight we were one

Clarity, agency

But then it passed, and the moment was gone.

Blown away like leaves in the October wind.

I sit back and idly observe

He makes his own path.

I can’t stop him

He just follows the camber

The steady curve

He doesn’t listen to me any more

There was a time when he did.

I watch from afar.

Watch him clumsily navigate his way through life.

I’m a stranger with no control.

He’s my hopeless avatar.

They have no love for one another

One says right the other says left

He doesn’t say what I want him to

He did when we were children

That person I was no longer exists

Only the people I’ve become.

Society. Societal norms. I think that’s where he’s heading. I can’t be sure. Chaos is an endless river and I’ve given up trying to predict which meandering tributary he’ll float down next. I know that’s not what I want though. I don’t know what I want, but that’s not it. I’m sure he’ll remove his many masks.

I’m sure he’ll let me in eventually.