Christmas Bullets

It's Christmas morning and I don’t know what’s wrong with me today, I don’t know how I’m feeling when I should be happy and at my parents house, all I want to do is break this and that and fuck shit up. I’m not angry nor do I have hate in my heart, I just feel empty and alone. I just wish I had someone in my life...

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I didn’t know what to do with myself, I clutched my fists while I cried my eyes out with the dark thoughts swirling in me and the gun laid beside me like a patient dog waiting to be taken outside.

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I got up exhausted from the stress and sighed as I said “Fuckin’ hell..” and then I noticed I had the gun in my hand, I turned towards the mirror and looked at the reflection of a broken man and at the gun, I suddenly heard a whisper that sounded like it was in front of me but I felt it pass out from my lips “Do it. Put the gun in your mouth. Nobody wants to be with you.”, I listened to it repeat itself over and over like a broken record while I got lost in the dark eyes of my reflection, only it wasn’t my reflection anymore, it was the image of darkness, Evil. I suddenly caught myself saying a prayer in vowels while the gun was in my mouth only I didn’t have control anymore, I closed my eyes and I pulled the trigger without a second thought, click click but no shot into the darkness.

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I took the gun out of my mouth, laughing and looked at it, wondering what happened, I mean my brains should’ve been splattered all over like a new wallpaper, I pointed it towards the floor, pulling the trigger and a round got blasted into the floor. Weird, maybe it wasn’t my time but I felt better after shooting. I pointed the gun back to the floor and I emptied the chamber and once the last bullet hit the floor, I released a sigh of ecstasy and smiled.

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I looked out the window at the beautiful Christmas morning and I had to tell myself I should be going outside to wait for the cops because I’m sure the neighbors called them by now. I stopped to look at the mirror at my reflection of a new man and I smiled walking away and then walked downstairs to only suddenly stop at the bottom of the stairs as my family and friends laid dead in the living room from gunshots from the ceiling, my gunshots. I walked over to their dead bodies, speechless and fell to my knees while tears run down my face, why did they come over, I didn’t call them but then through the tears I noticed they all had presents and food and then I saw the banner that said “Merry Christmas, We Love You.”.

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Still speechless while the red and blue lights pulled up, I wiped my eyes and stood up as they started banging on the door. I looked around at my dead family and friends when the door got kicked down and all I remember was that I cried out the word wait as they sprayed my body with bullets and I died.

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Oh yeah, I forgot I’m dead…