Jacob Bennett

Float

Here am I,

Drifting away,

Walking idle,

Back by yesterday.

 

Here I go,

Wayward bound,

Stepping out,

There I am found.

 

Between the lines,

Between the lies,

Every wandering,

Faceless cries.

 

Cast out,

Set aside,

Left to wash

Among the tides.

 

Balancing act,

Upon the wire,

To step between

All the liars.

 

A lowly shell,

Here I bloat,

Why did you leave

Me here to float.

Comments2

  • poelove

    another good poem I liked the theme yet I must say again your poetry would flow better without so many (the) example:

    " Between Lines
    Between lies
    every wandering
    Faceless cry"
    Or in some cases instead of (the) try another word
    "Balancing act
    Upon (thick) wire
    To step between
    All the liars"
    Thats not to say don't use (the)...I use it to death but rather try other options before you commit it to paper...The reason I bring this up is only because I can see the imagination in your poetry and am just trying to help you enhance and grow with it I had likewise been helped with my poetry when I was your age and am an avid believer that poetry sites should be places of learning not just vanity.. again nice poem i hope you dont think I am too bothersome...Peace


  • poelove

    another good poem I liked the theme yet I must say again your poetry would flow better without so many (the) example:

    " Between Lines
    Between lies
    every wandering
    Faceless cry"
    Or in some cases instead of (the) try another word
    "Balancing act
    Upon (thick) wire
    To step between
    All the liars"
    Thats not to say don't use (the)...I use it to death but rather try other options before you commit it to paper...The reason I bring this up is only because I can see the imagination in your poetry and am just trying to help you enhance and grow with it I had likewise been helped with my poetry when I was your age and am an avid believer that poetry sites should be places of learning not just vanity.. again nice poem i hope you dont think I am too bothersome...Peace


    • Jacob Bennett

      Thank you very much for this feed back, it means a lot that someone took the time to actually read and analyze my poetry. Don't worry about being bothersome you weren't it was insightful.



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