The Clause


The Clause

I’m gonna take the Reindeer by the antlers
Like I was reaching out to grab a rattler
The elves are done making toys
They’ve been released to make some Christmas noise
Me, I got deliveries to make
So I down my jack and egg nog protein shake
I hop aboard my sleigh
On the iPod I set Slayer to play
I go from house to house so fast
That cop couldn’t even see me flip the bird in the cam on his dash
A kid almost caught me in his room on my creep
But a quick head butt put him back to sleep
And there was another girl, I don’t think she saw me
In the living room, under the mistletoe kissing mommy
Christmas is my jam, I do it like a celebrity
Besides this is my day, it’s all about me
I’m taking these cookies and checking your daddy’s wallet
And your mothers jewelry, I’m gonna pawn it
Take your free swag, and don’t try to spot me
I headed up to your sisters room, I heard she was naughty
Ho Ho Ho, and a bottle of rum
If only I could remember which way I came from

LukeCoomer ©

  • Author: LukeCoomer (Offline Offline)
  • Published: December 25th, 2017 20:05
  • Comment from author about the poem: Merry Christmas Everyone!
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 31
  • User favorite of this poem: LaurašŸŒ».


  • LaurašŸŒ»

    Great write Luke! Enjoyed it very much! Very creative! Awesome illustration! Bravo!

    • LukeCoomer

      Thank you! Happy holidays!

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