the haunting

It is 4am 

you pop into my head

and for that short time

i forget how to breathe


sometimes it may cause my eyes to leak

my soul to scream out your name

because it hurts

oh darling it does burn


its not the bad moments that cause such pain

it is the happy memories that suffocate me

the times when you were mine

when you held me, kissed me,

when you were my happiness


because I know I’ll never feel it again 

your breath on my neck as we sleep

you nibbling on my ear

what we once were


in those moments my mind wanders

it creates a fantasy where you’ll say you want me

that you secretly need and long for me

but that is all it can be...

a fantasy


because you don’t need me 

you have her to fill that space 

while my heart holds an empty void

where it once held yours so fiercely 


you don’t need what we were 3 months ago

you don’t need our dates

the trip we took to Italy for our anniversary

The future we had planned

you don’t need the way we used to watch tv on the couch

how we went out with your friends together

you don’t need me coming to stay after work

or to think about cooking me dinner


you don’t need any of that.

And maybe one day I won’t either

but until that day comes 

it begs the question 

When will our happiness stop haunting me?



  • Tristan Robert Lange

    Wow! I could literally feel your pain as I read this! Excellent expression of the ghost of your happy past haunting your present! If only those ghosts would not linger so, our severed relationships would not hurt so bad. Thank you for this hauntingly beautiful expression of such deep and persistent pain. Well done!

    • thewanderingheart

      Thank you so much! I pretty much write as I feel so I was probably a good hour into crying when I wrote this at literally 4am and was pretty sure anyone who actually read it would think it was awful, so it means a lot to hear such lovely things 🙂

      • Tristan Robert Lange

        It was far from awful! Thank you for sharing and keep writing! 😀

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