On My Mind

I can't even sleep right anymore

Been holed up in my room since you walked out the door

You've been on my mind

Now it's all the time

I'm being dumb writing this rhyme

And I know you won't see this.

 

I wait on 11:11 tho everyone knows you're my wish

You're on my mind, you're what I'm thinkin

All these heavy thought it's all I'm makin

Though I can't say it's new.

Cause it's always like this with you.

 

And I'm fighting through the pain

It takes a lot of strain.

My hands are shaking

My world is breaking

I loved you tho

 

And I hope these scars don't show-

On my face,

Through this race against time

I can't move on, gotta get you off my mind

I'm going insane.

It's destroying my brain

You're just my drug,

As I lay in this rug,

Mourning my loss of you.

 

My mind's a mess

I'm in distress

I just want some love

Instead I wear a glove-

A glove to hide my scars

 

I've gone to another world, maybe mars?

I'm zonin out, I'm spacing

My mind just keeps racing

You. Your name.

It's all the same

Just like last time.

 

Again I'll say,

“I want you to stay-

“Stay with me don't do this

“I know there's plenty of fish-

“Fish in these stormy seas

“But I want you, so please.

“And I must confess

“I obsess-

“Obsess over you, and when you say you love me,

“And call me audacious,

“But we can be together get an apartment, it'll be spacious.

“So baby stay with me

“Cause a future with you is all I wanna see.”

I know I can beg and plead

But I should face the truth- you don't want me

So as I lay here on my bed

With my gun to my head,

I remember your smile

I remember your style,

I can hear your laugh

And I don't have to do the math,

I'm in love

So I remove my glove

I stare at the scars

I wonder ‘is this why you don't love me.’

I tried to stop, it's an addiction don't you see?

Just like you as well

I'm addicted to you and I know how hard I fell

But clear as day I can see that you finally done with me.

‘I was way to much’

Yeah I've heard it all such and such.

 

So

Gun to my head

I lay on my bed

And the voices they snigger

At me, my hesitation.

 

To think all I wanted was an invitation

An invitation into your heart.

Into your mind

I pull the trigger, I've run out of time.

I smile, time seems to slow.

I guess that's how this goes.

I'm face to face with my death and yet-

              You're on my mind