dark night

I see her body just laying there and i ask my self what could i have done to be a better husband. if maybe i didn't eat all those pills or keep snorting those lines maybe i wouldn't have lost the best thing in my life. she meant the world to me and i let her down wed get in a fight id leave and wouldn't return for awhile i cant bare to see her like this oh god why and now im missing my baby girls birthday and it kills my mood i may have made lots of mistakes but at least i had something to look forword to and that was her arms but it all just got all out of control the cocaine took over my body and i dont even remember it happing and now im sitting on the side of her death bed hoping she will wake from this coma i cant belive i hurt her fuck i shouldnt have ever blamed her for losing our baby i blame god so fuck him and fuck me to im a shitty person i hope to die and she can live she wakes from the coma and i say fuck it im sorry i love you i leave the room and go home and overdose on my sin aginst this world that is mean