And I am afraid of circles
Afraid of being drawn round and round
Legs so worn and weary, but my feet forward bound
And I am afraid of circles
On the way must have lost my mind
But when did it unravel? When did it unwind?
And I am afraid of circles
The past always travels back
To rest is to be stagnant, can’t afford to unpack
And I am afraid of circles
Who expected forever to be as long?
I crave new direction, new stories, new words, new song
And I am
And I am afraid of circles
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Author:
Aislinn Wilson (
Offline) - Published: January 15th, 2018 19:33
- Comment from author about the poem: This poem is 4 years old, and while I'm not proud of it I'm not yet ready to let go. I'd really appreciate harsh criticism so I can salvage what is good and leave the rest in order to form this poem to the best it can be.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 44
- Users favorite of this poem: Aals
Offline)
Comments3
Well, I doubt we shall be as harsh as someone I knew on a site - a troll though. He would slag off people with 'This is garbage' or ' I don't care much for this'.
We might look at the content of poems, more than the form. I do anyway, as I'm no 'professional poet'.
It is so in life, I think. Things go round in circles, maybe large ones sometimes. Yet we try new things, different things, etc.
Meanwhile *gets out dictionary for title* heehee.
Haha, yes I do not miss being 16 and feeling that I had to prove my intelligence at every point ! Don't miss that at all!
Aislinn, I must say I love it the way it is. There is one thing I would change and that is to leave out the word 'and' in lines 'And I am afraid of circles' and 'And I am', changing them to the direct 'I am afraid of circles', and 'I am'. To me the 'and' makes me wonder what else you are afraid of.
But hey, that's just me and my humble opinion. You have the artistic freedom to do anything you want!
Good poem!
I will definitely test and consider these things! This is exactly what I was hoping for, thank you very much!!
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