The Thoughts Drown Out My Screams

Why? Is it just me? How can i do the exact same thing as you and i do mean exact… but… when it’s me that does it… it’s always wrong, always… bad. I come to you for help but all you say is, “That sucks. Wanna play video games?” i tell you no and i just sit alone in my room knowing that it means nothing when you call me your best friend just as it means nothing to the two dozen other people you say it to. I know what I am to you. I am nothing more than someone to talk to when you are alone. When we do talk you only talk about how unlikable you are and how nobody likes you. I keep my mouth shut and keep quiet because that’s who i am, but on the inside i want to scream at you, call you weak, because that’s what you are. Weak. This is the first time i say anything about the thoughts that scream at me making sit in the shower and start pulling my hair out. The thoughts that say nobody wants me or needs me. The thoughts that tell me that my voice doesn’t matter and only lets me focus on thoughts of people talking over me anytime i try to speak reminding me over and over that i have no voice. The thoughts take over to the point where i start screaming. Screaming for them to leave. They don’t. How do i get them out. You are weak. You are weak because you only want the attention your two dozen+ friends give you when you say how alone you are. You don’t know what being alone is.