Mind unleashed

All im seeing is my future witch is death. I can't bare to live my life like how it is my mind is going insane, I cant bare to see what im doing to people this shit has no meaning. I thought Iv'e been a good religious man, but where is god when i need him most, where was he when my boy got shot up on the block all he wanted was a pack a smokes, where was god when my house caught on fire and my life was taken from me everything i had engulfed in flames. Had fight my way back to the top but I don't even know what im doing in this world anymore. Maybe god doesn't exist maybe my whole life is a lie and this is barely even the start I don't know what to do just last night got the call im losing my kid baby momma wanna take him from me just cuz I like to have a few beers. I can't stand my life all i see is death, and I cause pain in my life and all i wanna do is end it all with this knife that is sharp. Who knows maybe ill end up finding heaven and hear the angels play their harps as the watch over us. Is that even real is life even real. What if were watching our life flash before our eyes I just wanna bash and clash my head onto a wall. I ain't got no cash and i want my body to turn into ash but what will that do. Just last night i saw my boy and he is growing up so fast. Walked up to the door he doesn't even know who I am it kills my mood that my little boy doesn't even know his own father. It hurts a lot. My parents won't even return my calls. I'm an outcast, they always say i bring up the past and that i don't fit in with the rest of the family. My mind is killing me this is just my mind unleashed the beast in me is coming out and who knows maybe ill say fuck my life pop a shit ton xanax's like lil peep. I might just drive my car off a cliff into the deep end wrist slit jumping into an abyss this aint no diss on my life it's just the truth I'm sorry little sis I want to be there for you and you to bro but my life ain't bliss and i don't even know what im going to do your big brother is just a big mistake. Mom and dad don't want me near you even though I was the one helping you out with school. Yeah I dropped out but i want a better life for you guys I tried to be a good brother to you guys and you to son, I'm sorry i couldn't make it to the last 8 birthdays. You can blame mom im sorry i haven't been a great father or brother but im trying to be there for you but everyone wants to say fuck you john aint no one care what you want, your life really aint worth living. Shit im sorry to all you but just know i love you al like i said my life aint been bliss and this aint no dis on my life its just my mind unleashed...