Desaru

Are you okay?

As I perch myself onto this black like soot stool with only the ability to swivel its round design 180 degrees

My bottom has sunk halfway into the black nothingness however,

That is not all that has sunk

I've swallowed myself

Gone in one gulp as any decadent dessert would be to anyone with an abnormal sweet tooth 

In front of me sits a crystal clear glass window

Having the sole purpose of remaining to be the one thing separating my physical being from the outside and all the outside includes

Whether that be rain, heat, cold, life itself 

It is not the only thing which isolates me from all these things

I am a glass window 

Impenetrable and adamant glass that lacks transparency 

My bodily functions buffer as I become conscious of what is to come 

I blink but they are delayed as time goes on

In my mind,

The mouths with fangs sharper than the reflexes of a cat

In which all my debilitating anxiety originates 

Descend into the black nothingness 

One 

By

One

I am so accustomed that the silence that resides in the absence of this defining chatter causes my heart to race 

My eyes are locked in place

Yet their focus shifts 

One,

A family of five walks by

Two,

The suns rays have cause an explosion of color in the bottom left corner of the window

Three,

All eyes on me 

Is it really me?

Or am I really a shell

I see my eyes turn grey but not that of concrete

Too dark

Yet not that of static which has hints of white and black

No,

It is more of a grey you see the clouds turn before they cry onto this dull city

The sound of soup being slurped into business mens mouths

The sound of a crying infant who wants to be held

The sound of names being called for pick up 

It all is gradually muffled until it is all painfully

Silent

Isolated

I am completely alone with myself and my senses

Trapped 

With the sound of my own sobs and desperate screeches to be pulled out of this shell

In reality my lips do not budge 

My eyes are not vomiting tears

Only one single salty tear dangles at the edge of my wide open and still eyes 

All I can do is simply but miserably remain a mere spectator to life 

...

I gasp as if being held underwater 

"I'm okay"

I smile,

And I go on about my day

 

 



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