LIQUOR AND LOVE LOST

Dreamt of driving over the peak of a mountain on a road in a big heavy duty truck and there was a twisted sky above us at the peak.. a twisted horizontal tornado that ripped into the ground as we attempted to drive thru the peak road. I had a sense as if I wasn’t alone I remember being in the passenger seat and someone driving a man I’m not sure of perhaps a woman as I don’t remember... I could feel the edge of life and everything that came to mind in what seemed to be an instant was astounding... there’s so much to that dream I don’t remember.. I also remember being in a trance... finally with my love again but she glowed green and black as she tried to comfort me and teach me to move about in this trance without waking.. I remember feeling as if I had learned to finally be with her again and move about and touch her.. I remember knowing it was a different reality and telling her I didn’t ever want to leave if it meant being with her... I can’t remember if she approved or not of me staying there but I feel as if she was also torn... I remember being slowly ripped away from her, back into my bed, in and out, as I slowly came back to this horrid place I know as home.. this place without her.. this place where her actions and mine have led us to a point of what seems to be no return... This place where I am left wondering if I should reach out.... knowing I must be too late.. knowing also that where I am now is where I once wished to be.. knowing I will never be truly happy as long as I continue reaching for the past.. not knowing how to truly enjoy my present or being terrified that maybe I do enjoy the present but that part of enjoying the present is accepting the past and somehow loving the good moments and the bad or somehow forgetting the bad... sad thing is that most of the bad... is knowing the good will always be gone... guess I’ll stop there.. Bradly M. Ward.     -this was copy and pasted from the notes of my phone