To the boy I’ve never met~a slam poem

to the boy I’ve never met: I love you. I know that must be hard for you to understand, since I dumped you three times and the third time was the time it finally ended. I know it must have been hard for you, since you live in New Jersey while I live in Canada, and we don’t talk or text or Skype anymore. I know that it must have been hard for you to have loved me when the only word that really mattered... was distance.

to the boy I never kissed: I still kinda love you. It’s been a year and my skin still glows from the compliments you gave me. It’s been a year, and I can still picture your charming black locks, the locks I never got to ruffle up when I was playful, never got to pat when I was happy, never got to hold when I wanted to kiss you. That’s right! Kiss you! I’d have kissed you ‘til your name was engraved on my lips!You’d have forgotten every girl’s taste except mine, and I’d have snogged you ‘til both of us were desperate for breath!

to the boy I never met: I empathize with you. I’ve been through exactly what you’re dealing with. the voices in your head... the blade at your arm... the string tied around your neck... I wanted the same! I wanted to die because...... that’s not the point I was trying to make; I wanted to tell you that we are the same. Not the same religion, not the same culture, not even the same colour; our souls are ripped jeans on a cold winter morning. our souls are the teddy bears that the dog chewed up once or twice just to spite us, we SURVIVED!

to the boy who proposed to me when I was fourteen with a ring emoji: no. 

to the boy I wish didn’t meet online: ....

I think I still sorta maybe love you.