Overwhelmed

My thoughts are consumed by thoughts of endless fear of not understanding certain situations

A large amount of internal discomfort towers over my brain leaving ruins of nothing but lost thoughts

Wondering why the smallest things that make me feel so much emotion work me up so bad

The neverending curious mindset of nothing but my own is tragic z

Will my mind always remain this psychotic who will ever gain that hidden knowledge

For my secrets are locked away hidden and my anxiety-free to take over any second of the day

The rest of my helpless body defenseless against the shower of pain that overflows emptiness

It’s like I’m falling through an infinite tunnel with no escape

Like my breath was stolen away from me and becomes unretrievable

I can’t think I can’t breathe everything is completely frozen but can’t stop moving

Which makes no sense at all to you but to me its everything I go through on a daily

If you could reach inside my mind you’d cry salt and wonder how I’m still alive

And to be honest I have no idea how I’m still upon this earth

Every moment of every day is a battle to survive my own self

The stomach ache you feel after eating too much of your mother's pot roast is exactly what I feel all the time

I’m overwhelmed with things all at once but I’m empty

My lungs want to give up

I want to give up

I’ve always wanted to give up

I’m screaming bloody murder but nothing but whispers leave my mouth

My soul eating away at itself for what has felt like decades

All I want is to be okay for once

I’m not asking for complete and utter happiness but just okay would be everything

I just want to be okay.