yellowrose

tunnel turning me to shadow

I'm in a tunnel now and there is no way back 

The light there before me has started to break down and collapse 

Leaving me now consumed by black 

From behind , side by side and in front of my eye's

I'm so now too much part of the lingering black 

And i realise i have no choice 

I must move on and find myself back into the light

The light i must find in order to tame my fears

My fears of being drowned 

My fears of sinking underground 

So i must find the light 

Find the light in order to tame my fears

Fears which have been lurking there for years

Yet now i'm in this tunnel they are suddenly prodding at my mind 

Making me want to curl into a ball and cry 

The fears which have been lurking there for years

Their now making me cower

Making me fall down into a state of despair

Holding myself like a helpless child in the world

A helpless child who is now terrified of her own shadow

My shadow is the only thing i can vaguely see in this tunnel of black

But even that shadow is looking odd and ever so faint

And In my fearful mind's eye i'm just a black figure silently pushing itself through a black painting

But with a slight glimmer of grey 

And this glimmer of me is almost more terrifying than the rest of the blackness at bay

Not because i'm scared of me but because this isn't me

And i hate to see myself , nothing but a strange shadow of myself standing in a state of fear

Just here in the darkest tunnel surrounded and encaged by so much fear

I start to walk up on ahead, footstep by footstep i go 

Ignoring the shadow by my side

Too much blackness to pay attention to the shadow lurking by

Starting to walk , the shadow is getting smaller

And as my steps get faster and my mind is racing on

I feel i'm turning into nothing

No longer feeling like a person , no longer feeling like me

I've become a complete bag of countless fear

A dark hole in a dark place, all i can feel is fear

Everything else has moved to the side of me and i've become like fearful dust

Almost feeling like i'm continuously trying to turn to dust

I'm slowly somehow fading with my fear

And i can no longer feel myself walking hurriedly, steps on the ground

My heart beat which is racing in my chest 

I've become disconnected from it 

Seperated from my body

Now living purely in my mind , filled by a pure state of fear

I'm a head on a body 

Living away from the body i once owned

Scared, feeling like i've disowned myself 

The shadow by my side, like the body which i once owned 

And now pacing speedily through the tunnel

I'm living in a dream

A hazy dream which is even more threatening to my mind

My sense of reality having turned to dust 

It's turned into a dream

Not a nice fluffy dream or those nice fluffy clouds

But a dream which has turned into a darkened nightmare

I still need to get out of here and i'm going to cry now

Give up, fall to the floor in helpless despair

Cry , cry, because i cannot get out of this tunnel

There is  speck of gold looking up at me 

Looking up into my pained eye's

Giving me a faint glimmer of hope and a way to hold on

I'm holding it in my hands to help me fight 

Surprised at some light sparkling up ahead

I've seen the end and i realise

The piece of gold has saved my day

Showing me there is light and now i'm about to step out

Comments6

  • Jo Middleton

    Life is like a tunnel. How dark it is depends on how life is.

    I love it

    • yellowrose

      often i have felt in a neverending tunnel , one where i can never find the light at the end ! and that is scary .. stuck in darkness but feeling trapped with fear of not being able to get out . thankyou jo :-)

      • Jo Middleton

        The tunnel is my existence, so I emphasise greatly with how you are feeling.
        But one day the tunnel will end. You just have to learn to see in the dark :)

      • Scrambled Letters

        A terrific piece Charlotte, we are always seeking that light even when we are feeling our worst.

        • yellowrose

          hi scrambled letters, thankyou :-)

        • Tony36

          The emotions are strong in this one, great write

          • yellowrose

            hi tony .. thankyou :-)

            • Tony36

              Welcome

            • James Michael

              Thanks for sharing this heartfelt poem.

              There is light at the end of the tunnel. The darkness never seems to end. We just need to keep walking.

              I like the metaphor of the speck of gold. There's always some hope in the long journey of life.

              • yellowrose

                hi lawless, thankyou .... luckily i do not always feel in the dark, but i can sink into darkness again . she pushes on through that tunnel and despite her fear, she still keeps on walking ..after all that time of feeling scared and alone and trapped , she lost her sense of reality , she became a shadow to herself , she started to feel in a dream and nothing felt real anymore , but the speck of light truly gave her hope .. thanks for reading .. :-)

              • Santita

                Captivating write, Charlotte. Despair can absolutely feel like a never-ending tunnel. I could feel the emotion building up in this piece right until the very last line. The hope, the light, was a lovely way to end this gripping piece. Great write.

                • yellowrose

                  i think sometimes when things persist and problems continue , you end up feeling like you in a tunnel you cannot escape from and honestly that is what my life has sometimes felt like, a neverending tunnel of sadness . However , this poem refers to a particular bad time in my life where i felt like i was in a living nightmare, fear overwhelmed me and i felt so so scared at times .. truly not nice to feel so alone, so scared , so trapped and overwhelmed. thankyou very much for reading :-) glad you enjoyed

                • LittleGift

                  You have captured that sensation of feeling lost in the darkness so well. I have felt at times as though my tunnel has no light at the end. It really can be hard to find even a spark of light. Lovely writing



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