Still giving time more time

Seven years in and I'm still unhinged
Not knowing how to flip this feeling

I was taught and shown to act out
Problem is unconditioning what was felt

Learning to not yearn for what is gone
As I'm not there every day with open arms

I'm stuck in a wave of thinking of them
That spins me about till I feel no more

Lost in void from the beginning of split
With such beautiful memories locked in

For those continuing days were my last
Now I'm lost at sea every time we depart

Our days should never of been like this
This was my responsibility, I failed it!

I'm blessed to see them both clearly in my mind
Being there everyday waiting at home

My love is bursting all of the time
I crash and burn when I'm in rhyme

In an alternative universe we never part
Sadly I'm stuck just writing these words

Written for me to find new ways
Of holding on but not to unravel
For with all this love there's matching sorrow