It Lurks

I was five when it started
The whispering voice
But I was too young
To understand the noise
Until I turned eight
And it began to form thoughts
Full of words that I hated
Full of hatred I forgot
And then twelve came around
And I still didn’t know
Why the voice was even here
Or whether it would go
Fourteen is when finally
It began to appear
The physical form
Of all my deepest fears
Fifteen and I pushed
And each time I pushed longer
Having no idea that
I was making it stronger
Eighteen I came to realize
Exactly what I was
Seeking solitude to stop the beast
From doing what it does
And every day since then
It claws, it roars, it grips my neck
And I ask myself every day:
Who will I hurt next?