Spottypoet

My manipulative friend

Sitting here

Wondering what used to be there

On those playground battlefields

Where playtime was limited

Insults and rumours striking like a bullet

Wondering what other new school rule will make it on their list

Thinking I’m free when my invisible handcuffs reveal I’m on someone’s wish

Always be there never disagree after putting me through drama war after drama war

Who are you to me?

I’m not as brave as a seem

Kids never leaving me be demand after demand crowding around until I was uncontrollably shaking

You were the person who chained my brain

you were the only person who understood me even though you still gave me pain

For others summer was paradise away from the school and my future was nearby

My summer had plans but all of them ended with bye

Stuff happened without me knowing there was a lot of toxic waste my eyes couldn’t see

I wanted an escape I wanted a sleepover I wanted to keep this alive

Instead it died

I know the war is over and years have moved on

Loneliness and melancholy may drain my brain but I’m happy I’m no longer your pawn

The fights felt like they would never end all I really wanted was a friend

Someone to connect to someone to enjoy life with someone who didn’t hate my identity

Thanks to all that nonsense I grew into a monster

Accidently labelling people, trying to fit in and never realising how annoying I was truly being

I just walk around alone now sometimes thinking about your words

Our relationship you never truly meant it

You added a cactus to the knives stabbed in my back

The flashbacks haunted me and sometimes I disappear

When I try to put my feelings into a conversation it doesn’t sound clear

My fear was pointless I should’ve known

I guess I’m happy and away from what almost killed me

But my emptiness never leaves don’t you see?

It’s because of our times I don’t know what a healthy friendship is

I’ve seen them I’ve just never been in one

There are some new faces, new memories and some are nice

But soon some will leave, ending the laughter as I move onto Life’s next chapter

I’m still waiting on my Happy Ever After



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